3 months, 3 days

Okay, so it has been far too long since I have been on here. Suffice to say, I have been extremely swamped by Real Life. And right now, it’s been 3 months and 3 days since I have moved to Singapore. Who would have thought? :)

It’s been a bittersweet thing. The first two months felt like holiday. I loved every minute of it. But this third month, it has hit me as a major culture shock.

I am still struggling with the humidity. I love my heat but lately the A/C set has been my best friend. I cannot step out without sweating like a pig! LOL.

Speaking of which, I have absolutely no close friends here. No one here that I can absolutely relate to and just call whenever I want to have a chat.  I just can’t seem to connect to the people here. They are very warm but not neccessarily ready to extend friendships. Not everyday goes by that I’ve not missed my best friends.

I am finding it difficult to find a job here. It’s totally bizarre. I have more job offers in London despite the economic crisis than in Singapore despite the thriving economy. As expected, my specialist experience is not seen as an advantage here. A job consultant even advised me to wear traditional office attire for interviews (collared necks etc). I am a creative professional, for god’s sake! That kind of outfit doesn’t show imagination whatsoever?!  This reminds me why I left in the first place. Despite the outset, Singapore is still very much a traditional society. Being a total liberal, I feel unable to spread my wings.

My greatest comfort is my family. They are around to cushion my blow.

The only conclusion, the grass is not always greener on the other side. And if nothing will change in my circumstance, I may have to move back to London after the year is over. Trust me when I say I really do not want to do that.

Passionately

Elle x

Open House

We had an Open House today. For the first time in a long while, I basically met most of my relatives whom I haven’t met forever!

A lot of my cousins who were tiny when I remembered them are now grown up! I have to confess, my family consists of some good looking people! LOL…

The girls are divinely beautiful. The boys are simply gorgeous. And now that they have grown up, we have so much to talk about… Who would have thought that? And I even had to stop flirting with the boys..  heck, they are my little cousins.. It’s funny cause in London, most of the guys I have dated are of their age range… Yup, age difference is not a big deal there… Here, I suddenly feel old here! LOL..

Also most of my female cousins who are of my age group are now married! With kids. I am the only one left! No pressure…

Apart from that, I am finding that I am liking my relatives more than before. Strange, cause I used to hate them. How much a decade can change your perspective on things…

Passionately learning

Elle x

Elle Against Human Trafficking

Hey guys, please use a minute of your time to help me with THIS CAUSE. It doesn’t take much but may mean the world to someone else. Thank you! :)

Passionately

Elle x

The One About The Dad

I love my dad because he is my dad.

But in equal amount, I hate my dad too. If my dad is not related to me, there is no way I ever will choose to have someone like him in my life.

From the outset, my dad looks cool. Although, he has always been there when I was growing up, he has always been distant, emotionally unavailable. Everything in life revolves around him. He needs to have control. He does not resolve disagreements. He hurls abuse, sulks in the corner and gives us the silent treatment. He bangs doors and things to show he is the man of the house. We cower in fear. Ego. Much? He is a master emotional manipulator. He makes you feel crappy about yourself. You are never good enough to him.

I am my dad’s daughter. I am exactly like him. I hate that I am and everyday I am trying my best to not be like him. I also seem predisposed to date men like my dad. I hate dealing with men because of my dad.

At the moment, I am finding it essentially intolerable at the worst of times living with him. I haven’t done so for ages and it’s stirring up all the skeletons in the closet. My dad has a way of making me so angry that I feel like I have anger management issues. I am angry with him over the past, the present and quite possibly the future.

This is not meant to be a dad bashing thing. I really have no other outlet to talk about this. Not to my mom nor my sister. I have no idea what to do about it. I wish I do.

Passionately

Elle

Prepping Eid

I have been extremely swamped the couple of weeks! What with preparation for Aidilfitri! It has been eons since I have celebrated it with my family, I have now decided to embrace the whole process whole heartedly :)

Typical of the prepping is the painting of the house, buying gorgeous Malay costumes, baking cookies, spring cleaning… All the things that symbolises new beginnings. Apt, I say! ;)

I have been so swamped doing these things, I actually woke up kind of sickish this morning! LOL

Anyway, I have rediscovered Malay culture. It is pretty amazing. When I was young, I was pretty much snobbish about them. I guess teenagers rebel against traditions.. It’s amazing what a decade away from your heritage, can open your eyes up and make you appreciate it.

Anyway, I will post more piccies relevant to Aidilfitri. About 11 days to go!

Passionately Excited

Elle x

The Birthday Surprise

Spent the whole Sunday afternoon prepping birthday decoration for my sister’s birthday! I have been living on my own for so long and now that I am living with my family, it’s so wonderful to have my mom help out with the decoration. It’s also great to do amazing things for others..I am just so used to answering and pleasing myself! ;)

So my sister’s and baby nephew’s happy faces at the surprise decoration… Priceless! :)

Passionately Compromising,

Elle x